OK, seriously, new favorite GIF! This is Tumblr genius!
Holy shit.
Bryan: I’m telling you they will not give you powers like the hulk if you smoke enough. It’s not even Gamma radiation.”
8-Ball: you won’t like me when I’m fiending! Hand me pack #42!”
Letter written by Jack Trawick to Britney Spears
My Dear Britney Spears,
Seldom does a talent like yours come along. Your voice could make the angels cry and the devil become pure and sweet. People like Charles Manson would melt his ice-cold heart if he would just let your music flow over him. You truly are a role model and an idol to most adolescent females. You not only touch their hearts but you give them a reason to celebrate.
However, I am a sexually motivated serial killer and if it were up to me I would strip you nude, tie you to a bed and taste all of your femininity. Once I had ripped your pussy almost out of its hiding place, and while you were still conscious and aware of your surroundings, I would hack your grape sized nipples and your finger sized clit from your then non virgin body and make you eat them.
Next I would slowly and methodically strangle you just to the point of unconsciousness let you revive and start the whole process again. Eventually you would become a blonde, brain dead zombie. You would beg for death but I would deny you of that relief. Eventually your once sensual body would shake in your final death spasms. I would with the artistry of a skilled surgeon disembowel, dismember and behead your now useless body. I would scatter your individual body parts in the four corners of the earth. You would leave this earth totally unceremoniously and without any earthly markers. One day you are Britney Spears rock and roll singer the next day you would be little more than road kill.
You were born a dick sucking, pussy licking, cum drunk common gutter slut. You live as a dick sucking, pussy licking, cum drunk common gutter slut and you will die a dick sucking, pussy licking, cum drunk gutter slut.
You are on T.V. as I write this. And as I watch, I can think of no greater joy than to ravish and mutilate your selective surgery, silicon, body. You say that you are a virgin. Most likely you have been hopping on dicks since you were wearing juvenile diapers. Regardless of what you may think sucking dick and taking a hard wanger in your butt is sexual.
Well good luck in your career. If the singing gig runs a bit stale – you can always be a porn queen.
Just think the next time you go anywhere I could be there waiting on you. Before you get carried away about all your security and body guards and blah blah blah no security is absolute.
Looking forward to our first meeting,
J
P.S. Write ASAP. Please send some lingerie photos.
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AnonymousMoney in the Bank! Bitches touch my crank! I got … something, something, Skank. skank bank … turtle … something Bank.
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AnonymousHello, ladies. My name is 8-Ball. My turn ons include taking LSD at the beach, banging crack Whores in the alley behind pizza hut, fighting crime and jizzing on Bryan’s mom. Oh, and fighting crime. Turn offs include paying the rent, listening to squares, and you not sucking my Dick on the first date.
